Summer Lovin'

It's been just over three months since I've decided to be a full-time Mom and everyday hasnt been easy but it's still the best job ever.  It's sad to think in four weeks my oldest will be starting kindergarten 😲.  It feels like five years just flew right by but at the same time went incredibly slow, if that makes any sense.

I wanted to quit my job so early in the year so I could spend the whole summer with my oldest before she started school.  I wanted her to have a great summer full of day trips and adventures.  It turns out that's not what happened at all, lol.  Life happened and we just had so much going on we didn't get to go to the zoo, the science center, the water parks, etc nearly as much as I wanted to but she got to spend time with friends and family and it overall was a good time.

I still have a few weeks left before school so I'm going to try to get a few more of those places in but if not I'm not going to stress over it.  Well, at least I'll tell myself that 😉.

Hello My Friend, Hello.

It's late, though it always seems to be. I like to write but it seems the only time I have to myself these days is late at night. Or in this case, early in the morning.

Since we last spoke, way back in 2011, I've had 2 children. Two wonderful girls exactly 4 1/2 years apart to the day, and almost to the hour. I'm surprised really I didn't blog much then.  It took us 2 1/2 years to get pregnant the first time then almost 4 with the second, both girls were conceived with fertility treatments.  That whole process for me, the hormones, pills, shots, blood work, failed pregnancy tests, all of it was such a HUGE roller coaster ride for me and yet I didn't talk about it.  I talked to my husband of course, but he can only understand so much, regardless it wasn't his body that was broken, it was mine. A women's body is solely designed to create life and mine would not do it. Not without thousands of dollars of medical treatments. That's heart breaking.

You had one job Sadie, one job and you failed.

Lovely.

The only thing I've ever wanted my entire life was to be a Mom and my body said, fuck you, no.  So I paid gobs of money to make it happen despite my awful body saying no.  I had one okay pregnancy, it wasn't great but wasn't too bad. And one awful pregnancy.  ( You could probably guess which was which).  But these pregnancies, that we're by no means easy, gave me these two amazing little humans.  Little humans that I love more than life.  I couldn't possibly live without them.  Aftery second daughter was born I even gave up my career to pursue my passion in life, being a Mom.

I love every day, I have virtually no stress, and feel genuinely at peace with my life.  It's amazing how when you follow your dreams how your body and mind react to the happiness. I made the best decision ever to stay home, despite any of the downsides they don't come close to how happy I truly am.

So now here we are in present day Pepperville and life is great. Stay tuned for the many adventures of my life now as the Mom I always wanted to be.

Life is funny...

So if you go back to the very beginning of this blog you will see it was something once forgotten then, through the writings of a friend, was rediscovered and continued.  Well it seems we are in the same situation yet again. This poor little blog was forgotten about and, yet again, through the blog of a friend, was rediscovered and here we are.

So hello again, why don't you sit down and grab some vodka, you'll probably need it, and relax. It's gonna be a long night. 😉

Lyrically Inclined

There's very few things in this life I can completely and totally submerge myself in and identify with, music is one of them.  I almost forgot about this song and how much I adore it.  It seemed appropriate to post here after the theme of my last few posts. 

The anniversary of Adam's DOD is quickly approaching but this year I'm not feeling that overwhelming pain and anguish I've felt over the past few years.  Call me crazy be I totally think this tattoo of mine has changed my life and has healed my heart, even if just a little bit.  <3

Let It Begin With Me...

Tattoo is about 2 weeks old, thank God the itching is over....it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but still annoying nonetheless.  It's funny, this time of year I usually get really sad and depressed since Adam's DOD is 6/10 but its different now.  I honestly didn't even realize the date was approaching until I actually looked at the calendar today.  When I did look and realized the date was approaching I wasn't sad or upset.  I finally found myself at peace.  Not saying I don't miss him and wish he were still here but some how those 23 stars on my foot make me feel so much closer to him, like my best friend is with me always, no matter what.  My heart is truly happy and at peace.  It's amazing what a little ink can do for the soul <3.

Finished Tattoo

I wanted to post a quick picture of my tattoo after it has been completed.  I love it more than words can say and the pain is so worth the ever lasting effect it has had on me already.  <3

Today is the Day

Today is a very important day in my life, I would argue it is almost as important as my Wedding day, almost.  Today is the day I get my first tattoo!  Why on earth would that be almost as important as my Wedding you ask?  Well my tattoo is very special, my tattoo is my way of paying homage to my BFF Adam who died almost 4 years ago, (I've written about him on here many times).  And before you ask, no its not a tattoo with his name in it or anything ridiculous like that.  It's a tattoo that has meaning to me and to the rest of you will just look like some cool artwork and designs.

This tattoo has been a long time coming and I've finally decided on the perfect design to make it exactly what I want.  I'm getting 23 stars and diamonds tattooed on the top of my right foot.  One Big star surrounded by the 22 other stars and diamonds in various sizes.  The reason for this is my BFF Adam and I are both huge, HUGE Beatles fans and the tattoo is a loose interpretation of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.  The part that really ties in Adam will be the 22 stars and diamonds.  There will be 3 different size Stars and 1 size diamonds.  The stars and diamonds will be of specific number, those numbers will represent Adam's birthday (3/6/76).  I wanted the numbers to represent his DOB and not his DOD because I want celebrate his life and not mourn his death.  His DOD is hard enough for me without dedicating a tattoo to it.

It's taken me almost 3 months and 2 different tattoo artists to get a tattoo appointment that has not been cancelled or changed.  Maybe it was Adam's way of telling me that other artist wasn't right for me, or it wasn't the right time.  I truly feel today is the perfect day to finally pay homage to my BFF who I miss more and more as the days pass and will forever be in my heart.

People ask, are you sure you want to live the rest of your life with that tattoo? And I respond, I can't believe I've lived this much of my life without it.

Sympathy Pains

I have a friend who's going through some really rough times lately.  They just can't see to catch a break in anything they do and as of late I can't stop thinking about them and their situation and every time I do I want to cry.  It's heartbreaking to me to see one of my good friends go through all of this and I can't a thing to fix it.  I feel helpless and useless and wish there was so much more I could do to help them through this.  I just hope they find the strength and courage to continue on and overcome this hardship.  <3

BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!!! :-D

The Husby and I have started a new tradition.  We started celebrating birthday week.  For his birthday he had home cooked meals every night of his favorite foods, complete control of the TV to watch whatever he wanted or play video games and I did his chores that week. 

This week is my birthday week and instead of cooking me dinner every night, the Husby has agreed to take me out to eat!!! :-)  Day one of birthday week we went to a little Mom and Pop's Italian Restaurant.  It was pretty good, I had linguine with alfredo sauce, scallops, shrimp and crab meat.  The Husby had broiled shrimp & scallops with pasta.  Not bad for a little Mom and Pop's joint.

Day two of birthday week we went to a little Mexican restaurant near the house.  It was fantastic!!! They had the best homemade pico de gallo and pita chips.  SO GOOD!! I had a chicken and cheese gordita with Mexican rice and the Husby had steak and shrimp fajitas.  That will definitely be a place we frequent. :-)

Tonight is day three of birthday week and I'm not entirely sure where we're going for dinner yet.  We got a little bit of snow so we'll see how the roads are later.  Tonight just might be a pizza night but I won't complain, as long as I don't have to cook I don't care.

It's also nice not having to worry about doing stuff around the house.  The Husby is doing all my chores since it's my birthday week.  Lucky for him there's no dishes since I'm not cooking all week. ;-)  The week will be ended nicely with a day trip to NYC to see the Lion King on Broadway.  The Husby, the awesome man that he is, got me tickets to 2 Broadway shows for my wedding gift and the last show is this weekend!  I'm so stinking excited!  I had never seen a Broadway show before we went to see Wicked in November.  We will definitely be going to see shows more often now, I'm hooked. :-)

New Year - New Me - New Baby?

So my last update was on Black Friday as I was about to run out the door to go shopping.  Well the holidays came in like a lamb and went out like a lion.  The hustle and bustle of the holidays was very overwhelming this year.  I don't know if it was because we were so busy with the wedding that I kinda forgot about them and they snuck up on me or what, but they were crazier than ever this year.  I hate to say it but I'm actually kinda glad they are over.

I did enjoy the time I spent with my husby, it was our first official Christmas together and it was nice.  He got me a super cool retro style kettle popcorn maker.  Its counter top sized and super cute, I love it.  As far as the rest of the Holiday went, I could have done with out it.  I just wasn't in the holiday spirit this year and I just didn't give a hoot.

It's all over now and it's 2011! Woo hoo! :-) I have some really aggressive goals, not resolutions - goals, for 2011.  I plan to make this year even better than last year.  The husby and I were discussing possibly trying to start a family the beginning of next year (2012) So there are somethings I would like to accomplish before this happens.  Having a baby is major life changing decision and it really sucks the life, and money, out of you.  My goals for 2011 are to make my life more baby friendly :-).  I need to be more organized; there needs to be less clutter in my life and in my house.  I need to be in better shape; I know it sounds silly to lose weight to get pregnant but I want to be healthy when I get pregnant and right now I'm just not.  I need to know what I want to do with my career; I'm forever job searching and considering other career paths.  I need to decide what my career is going to be, whether I stay here, become a party/wedding planner, a real estate agent or a super hero - I need to decide what I want to do so I can start working towards that goal.  I need to spend less and save more; I am the WORST person ever with money, if I have it I spend it.  I need to work on that so we have money to spend on the baby's needs.

This all kinda counts as being dual purpose, my 30th Birthday is next January so I really want to get my life in order so I can controlling my life instead of my life controlling me and dictating to me what I need to do on weeknights and weekends.  Hopefully my new approach to things will get me on a solid path and I can follow through with all of my goals.  So far I have a starting plan for each of them:

My Fitness Goal: To lose approximately 40 pounds by 1/15/12
My Fitness Goal Approach: Signed up for Myfitnesspal.com, downloaded Couch to 5k for my iPod and dowloaded some healthy recipes to try.

My Organization Goal:  Organize my life and organizing my house
My Organization Goal Approach: I plan to take the house on one room at a time and give my self a reasonable amount of time to get it organized, let's say a month. I know we are really busy people and life happens so I don't think this is unreasonable. Also, I plan to put our Google Calendars to better use to keep us organized and in sync with each other.

My Career Goal: Figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
My Career Goal Approach: Research jobs to find out what I like and what I want to do, what classes/certifications are required, up front costs associated with career changing, etc.

My Financial Goal: Save my money for the baby
My Financial Goal Approach: STOP SPENDING MONEY :-), if there's two things I want I usually just buy them both.  Now I'm going to try to choose between them and pick only one, or maybe even none at all.  Do I really need this?  Will my life end if I don't buy it?

Wow so all that looks pretty intimidating now that I wrote it down...we shall see how this goes....

Post Wedding Blues

So it's been about 2 1/2 months since my last post and about 6 weeks since the Wedding, wow time sure does fly.  I know I said a few posts ago that anyone who was thinking about planning a traditional Wedding should just save their money and elope, I was wrong.  Anyone who decides to plan a traditional Wedding don't elope, instead save your money and hire a wedding planner.  I loved every second of my Wedding and as the day went on I was so glad I decided to have the big Wedding, it was so worth it.  Even my husband, yes that's still weird to say lol, said he was very happy we decided to do the traditional Wedding it was so much fun.

The Wedding truly was a blast but it would have been a lot more fun if it wasn't our responsibility to make sure everything happened and on time.  A few things were missed and forgotten about but for the most part I'd say we did a pretty damn good job running the circus ;-)

After the wedding the hubster and I went to Jamaica for our lovely 10 day honeymoon.  It was superb.  It was just nice to be able to go and get away for a while.  We did so much running and planning for the Wedding that on the honeymoon we just sat on the beach for 10 days and did nothing.  We read a few books, went sailing a few times but that was about it.  After we got home from the honeymoon the Post Wedding Blues set in, I got so depressed because I came home with a super ear infection and couldn't hear for a few weeks after.  It took forever for me to get my hearing back and the whole time I was suffering with that I was miserable, I had nothing to occupy the countless hours I spent planning the wedding, we did get a new puppy the day after we got home but even that wasn't helping me get over the Post Wedding Blues.

It took awhile for me to just get used to being "us" again without all the stress of the wedding, without all the crap to do, without all the interaction with my girlfriends and family, it was quite the adjustment.  Once I thought I was FINALLY getting used to it I got this ridiculous cold.  I was out of work for 2 days, would have been more if I had more PTO time left, but I spent those 2 days in bed and on the couch plus the following 2 days (Saturday and Sunday), were also spent wallowing in my sickness.  It sucks because just when I finally get the motivation to get the rest of the wedding gifts put away or start working on a project around the house I get some sort or ridiculous sickness.  I'm sure by the time the holidays are over I'll be back in tip top shape.

Speaking of Holidays, it's 1am on Black Friday morning and I have to go get dressed to head out shopping :-) Tis the season to be spending.

Here's a Picture of our new baby Rufus :-)

Wedding Day Countdown Continues!!

Wow, ok...so obviously updating my blog wasn't on my wedding to do list, lol.  The last post I did said the Wedding was 101 days away, well we are at 22 days from the Wedding and I have got to say my stress and anxiety levels are quite lower than they were 79 days ago.  I think a lot has to do with my acceptance that if its not perfect on my Wedding Day I'll still be marrying to most wonderful guy in the entire world so nothing else really matters.

There isn't a whole lot left to do at this point we are pretty much good to go!  Still waiting for a few RSVPs to come in but other than that we're pretty set :-)

There were some changes in the wedding party since my last post.  My problem bridesmaid was eliminated and another one dropped out, but my cousin stepped in so we're really only down one girl, which isn't so bad.

I had my Bridal Shower on 7/31 - we got so many wonderful gifts from our generous friends and family, I'm still trying to find room for them all!!!!  We also had my Bachlorette party and the Groom had his Bachelor party.  We did it the same weekend, Labor Day Weekend, to allow us some extra recovery time and I have to say that was a good idea since the Groom pulled his hamstring lol.

I have my final dress fitting tomorrow, (YIKES!!!) and then all that's left is the rehearsal and the wedding!!! Scary stuff!  Before I know it I'll be Mrs. Groom and it will be very weird getting used to that lol.  Hopefully I'll remember to post again before the big day, If not I'll see you all after Jamaica. :-)

Wedding Blues

I'd like to give my advice to any couple out there deciding to get married and do the whole "traditional wedding".  Elope. Seriously.  Save your money and elope.  I thought people were crazy for telling me that before but now I see there is some truth behind it.  Weddings are VERY time consuming, demanding, depressing, stressful and above all expensive. 

I don't mind the planning, the organizing, the researching or even the money involved.  I mind the drama.  There is so much drama involved in wedding planning.  The most drama comes from the place you expect it to come from, the wedding party.  This, although expected, still surprised me.  I expected some drama but the amount of drama that has spewed from this is so overwhelming it makes me want to just say fuck it and have no one except the best men and matron of honor.  I never thought I would be so disappointed in my life.  You choose people who are supposedly your closet friends and family to be in your wedding and the second you need help with something virtually no one is there. 

I will say though, I am thankful that I have at least 2 really truly awesome bridesmaids who would do anything for me and help me with anything day or night.  With out them this whole thing would be a disaster. 

101 days and counting and hopefully all this stress and anxiety will be worth it...and if it isn't, at least I have the honeymoon ;-)

Sister, Sister!

So this post is LONG over due, but I wanted to wait until the right time to make the announcement.  I mentioned a few posts ago that I had recently hired a PI to help me locate the Sister I have never met.  Well, I am happy to say they found her!!!!  I've been talking to my Sister since about April but I wanted to wait to post this since my whole family was not informed until recently.  On the off chance some one from my family reads this, I didn't want them to find out this kind of news from a blog, lol.

Needless to say I'm BEYOND excited about having a Sister and I was thrilled to find out I also have a Niece! Wow can't tell you how weird it is for someone to call me "Aunt" lol, never thought that would ever happen.  I got to spend Memorial Day weekend down south at my Sister's house and got to spend some quality time with her, my Brother in Law and my Niece.  I was also fortunate enough to meet the rest of her Family at a Graduation party.  Everything went super great and everyone was so nice to me.

I can't begin to express how great it was to meet my sister for the first time.  It was so wonderful, amazing, nerve wracking, scary and emotional all in one.  It was also a little weird, lol....her and I are SO much alike its almost scary.  We're built the same way, we have the same face structure, we have the same smile, the same laugh, the same little mole on the right side of our face, we finish each other's sentences and we laugh at the same corny stuff.  It's amazing how we can be 11 years apart and still be SO much alike.

Saturday night when I was down there my Sister and I went out to the Bar to get some good quality time in and when the bar closed and we were just cruisin' around listening to tunes in the car it just felt so normal and so comfortable.  It felt like that place I was looking for my whole life, the place I belonged was sitting next to my Sister as we cruised around listening to tunes.  It was totally amazing and I can not wait to go back and visit my Sister and Brother in law, who is one of the funniest men I have met, and play paper dolls with my Niece.

Love ya'll.

Going to the Chapel and We're Gonna Get Maaarrriiieeeddd...Eventually

Ok, so this wedding crap is seriously getting old, lol.  I thought for sure by now I would be done with the planning and sitting back, drinking Pina Coloadas making my scrapbook and just enjoying my dance lessons. Nope, fat chance...we're not even CLOSE to that part yet.  Sigh.

By the Groom's request, I have compiled a "To Do" list for the wedding/honeymoon.  I will post it here for your amusement and also my convenience :-) I will cross stuff off as complete and dear pray I can get it all done by the end of May so I can freaking relax!  So here's the list, in no particular order:

• Find and Book a florist that doesn't cost a million freaking dollars
• Find and Book a ceremony venue
• Send out save the dates to everyone
• order invitations
• send out invitations with RSVPs Numbered
• Find and Order toasting flutes
• Find and Order garters
• Get Groom's passport renewed
• Order Favors
• Make Leaves for Manzanita Trees
• Make master list for seating chart
• Seating chart itself
• Find and Order Headpiece
• Book Beautician and makeup artist
• Find and Order Cake Server Set
• Make appointment to review cake and layout
• Trellis for ceremony site?
• Girls Jewelry
• Wedding Rings
• Write Ceremony
• Write Vows
• Make garland for head table
• Rehearsal Dinner location
• Tuxes sized and ordered
• Groom's new glasses
• Dance Lessons
• Marriage license  
• Buy Disposable Cameras
• Music Selections
• Make Scrap book

Phew! That's it....I hope :-/

Somewhere Out There

I was born into a family where I was the one and only child. All my friends had at least one brother or sister where as I had none. It was always kind of boring going on family vacations because it was always just me and my parents. Although my Dad was like a super Dad and would go on any ride I no matter how crazy it looked just so I could go on the ride, it still wasn't the same as having someone else my age to do those things with instead of my Dad. I always felt like I had to act like a grown up because I was always surrounded by them, I never truly felt like a kid even when I was around other kids. I always felt like I had to be the responsible one to watch out for all of us so we wouldn't get in trouble.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice at times to be an only child. I got awesome presents for my birthday and Christmas, I didn't have to share video games or other toys, I had my own room with a TV and a computer. It did get lonely though, and I always dreamed of having a sibling to hang out with, so you could imagine my excitement when on my 11th birthday my parents told me my Dad was married before and I had a Half-Sister. I got really excited by this news!! I thought FINALLY! Someone to hang out with and talk to who’s not my parent!!! That excitement quickly dissipated when my Dad told me my Half-Sister was 11 years older than me and he had not seen her since she was 2. Great, I finally have a Sister but no one knows where she is, awesome. The one thing my Dad did have was one of her HS Graduation pictures which he carried around in his wallet and gave to me for safe keeping.

After that day I kind of forgot about the fact that I had a Half-Sister, since it was pretty obvious to me that no one knew where she was and no one seemed to care either. About 13 years later when I was packing up my room at home to move into the house I purchased with my Boyfriend, I found the picture of my Half-Sister my Dad gave me for "safe keeping". I started thinking about her a lot and thinking I should really try to find her. I thought about her off and on for a long while, always toying with the idea that I should start looking for her, but not knowing where to start, that idea quickly went away. I started talking to my Aunt T about it because I figured if anyone could help she could. My Aunt T is my Dad's Half-Sister from his Father's Second Marriage. (Phew that was a mouth full!) After years of knowing about my Dad and his Brother she finally decided to try to contact them, albeit a little easier for her since her Dad kept in contact with my Uncle. Still it was a very hard decision for her to make but she went through with it.

She told me about how nervous she was contacting and then meeting my Dad and Uncle and how worried she was they would not want anything to do with her. She told me about all the things she felt and as she went on I realized these fears she talked about were very similar to my own. As we talked more I told her of my fear of talking to my Dad about all this. I know my Dad and his ex had a nasty break up and I know my half Sister was adopted by her Mom's new husband less than a year after Dad's divorce was final, but that's about all I knew. I finally mustered up the courage to talk to my Dad about my Half-Sister in January of 2008 right after I had turned 26. I told him I thought about her a lot and wondered what she was like and really wanted to try to find her. Surprisingly he told me he felt the same way and he wanted to find her for years but never had the courage to do so. Wow! This was great news to me! I was so excited! We talked some more and then he told me he had some papers that might be useful in my search. He has his divorce papers from her Mom and the adoption papers he signed giving her Step-Dad legal guardianship of her. Woo Hoo! I felt like I was on top of the world! I was going to start looking for my sister! I had all this great info! This will be so easy!

Wrong.

Although I had a ton of great info, I had no clue what to do with it. I tried searching for her on-line with the info I had, buying subscriptions to sites and services that promised results, no luck. I hired PIs to search for her, do background checks everything, no one had any clue where she was, or even if she was alive. This went on for about 2 years until I finally was at a loss. I didn't know where to look, who to ask, nothing. I felt like I hit the ultimate brick wall.

Then I saw it.

I was watching TV really late one night and I saw this show called "The Locator". It was about this PI who traveled the country helping people find their long lost relatives. I thought AWESOME! I'll write to the show and they'll help me find her!! So I got the laptop out, wrote down my story, crossed my fingers and hit send.

About 3 weeks went by and I heard nothing, which I felt was normal; it is a TV show after all. To my surprise the beginning of week 4 I got a phone from the agency that runs the show. They said although I wasn't picked for the show, they could still do a search for me but I’d have to pay for it. Lovely. The last thing I wanted, another bill less than 6 months from the wedding. Amy, the rep from the agency, and I talked for a while about why I wanted to find her, what kind of info I had and what their flat fee covered. After I spoke with her, I talked with my Boyfriend, now Fiancé, that I lived with and we talked about it for a while and I decided I would regret it more if I didn't go through with it. So I called Amy back, told her we were going through with it, painfully gave her my credit card number and she started my file.

I think the worst part about all this is the 15 day waiting period after you activate your contract. After you sign your contract, they take up to 15 days to put your file together and assign you a PI. On our about day 15 you should receive a phone call from your assigned PI to review your case file and discuss your search. Once you talk to your PI he then begins his search. The search can take up to 6 months and they have a 98% success rate in finding the lost relative usually less but up to 6 months.

Today is day 13 of 15 and my stomach has been doing somersaults all day. It’s going to be a long 2 days and that's just the beginning!!! I guess I don't have to worry about losing weight before the wedding, my stomach will be too nervous to eat anything until this is all over. Hopefully once it’s all over I'll be able to meet my Sister.

The Time Has Come To Say Goodbye

On November 10, 2009 my 92 year old Grandmother passed away.  My Grandmother, or Baba as we called her, suffered from Alzheimer's Disease for the past five years or so, the last two being the worst.  Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, bad for the person who has it, and horrific for the people around them.  Every day we saw more and more of Baba slip away until one day it seemed as though she was just no longer there, that was about a year and a half ago.

Baba started getting really bad the summer of 2008, it was at that time my Mom decided she wanted Baba to go live with her and my Father.  She moved Baba into their house in August 2008 and my Mom took care of Baba everyday until she passed away peacefully in her own home on November 10, 2009 just five days after her 92nd birthday.

Even though near the end she didn't know who we were, we still knew who she was, and that woman we will never forget.

 

Anna Mancak

11/05/1917 - 11/10/2009

3 Little Stones That Changed My Life

My last real post was about a remembering a friend I had tragically lost not long ago and how I decided to celebrate his life instead of mourn his death. I went to the New Kids on the Block concert with a few friends from work and it was such a good time. Deciding to remember Adam by enjoying life was a really good decision.

A little over a month after the concert my life changed dramatically. On July 28th, 2009 my boyfriend proposed to me! It was such a great day! It was my one year anniversary with my current employer and it was also the day before my best friend was admitted to the hospital to have her baby. I'll never forget that day as long as live! I came home from work and he was sitting in our living room on our ottoman. He looked so nervous and anxious, like he has news to tell me but at the time I couldn't tell if it was good news or bad news. So I looked and him and said, "Who died?", he looked at me and smirked and said, "No one." I saw him look down and smile at a little tiny box he had in his hands. It was then my heart stopped beating. For just one moment all I did was stare at this little tiny cherry wood box he held in his hands and wondered if this was "it".

He told me to come sit in front of him on the couch cause he wanted to talk to me. I nervously dropped everything in my hands on the dining room table and practically ran to the couch. I felt like the whole world was moving in slow motion as he recited this beautiful long speech he had prepared for this moment. As he talked I found myself wrapped around every word he was saying I just couldn't help myself. It felt as if I were actually hanging on the words as they lingered in the air and made their way to my ears.


As he finished his speech and I thought "this is it! he's gonna ask me to marry him!" He did what he normally does and threw me a HUGE curve ball. He went into the hallway and got a guitar he had purchased over a year ago, that I had no clue even existed, and began to play a song he had wrote for me for just this occasion. I felt my heart melt as he played and every note sounded so crisp and clean I can still hear it in my head til this day.

Once he finished his song, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, it was quite possibly the greatest moment in my life. I of course said yes and finally got to look at the gorgeous ring he had hiding in that cherry box this whole time. A gorgeous 3 stone round cut ring set in platinum, man does my guy have good taste or what?! He painstakingly pick out the ring all by himself, not one single person knew about it nor had any inkling he was planning on doing this. So as I made the rounds on the phone calling everyone and texting everyone the surprise from all of our friends and family was so overwhelming.

After we had called everyone and he tweeted his infamous "She said Yes!" tweet, we decided to go out to dinner to celebrate this awesome occasion. As we were sitting at Carrabbas having dinner, the waitress came by and I just blurted out, "We got engaged today!!!!!!" (Insert big cheesy grin). She laughed said congratulations and said she was just admiring my ring and how pretty it was, to which I replied, "I know", lol. While sitting at dinner my now fiance told all about his journey to get to this day. How he snuck out to the park with the guitar he had hiding in a storage unit so he could practice the song, how he did hours upon hours of research to find the perfect diamonds in the perfect ring for me, and finally how he spent so much time writing his wonderful speech. It was just so amazing to me to see how much time and effort he put into this one day, just to make me feel special. It is definitely a day I will never forget.

Holy Forgotten Blog Batman!

Ok, so I'll admit....I'm a slacker...its been ten months since I've last written anything here and I think it's time to fix that. Though things have been BEYOND crazy in the world of Sadie...I feel it is no excuse to not update. If anything it's more of a reason TO update!

Sparing you all from a HUGE update post, I'm going to be posting a few short blogs to kinda sum up the past few months...I'd say there's about 3 major things that happened in the past ten months so I'll probably have three posts, wow clever I know! Well....we'll start there anyways ;-)

On to the updates!

Happy Memories...

Although today makes the Anniversary of a very sad day in my life, I wanted to take the time today to remember all the good times we shared and all the fun memories I will always have.
So here in short are a few of my Top 5 Favorite things related to Adam and our friendship
Top 5 Favorite Memories:
- Going for Wings at Kelly's
- Our Annual Christmas Dinner at Perkins
- Our Frequent Road trips to TYAD for Adam to play basketball with all the other Army Guys
- Frequent Lunches together while he was at TYAD for training
- Our HORRIBLE dinner at Bennigan's
Top 5 Songs that remind me of his Horrible Singing:
- Magic Stick - 50 Cent and Lil Kim
- Hey Ya - Outkast
- Wish You Were Here - Pink Flyod
- P.I.M.P - 50 Cent
- Sexy Sadie - The Beatles
Top 5 Favorite "Adamisms":
- Oh my
- I'm a grow-er not a show-er
- Right on
- Hey Darlin'
- last but certainly not least Sugar Britches

Adam - I love you dearly and will never forget all of our long talks and all the fun we had. You were the best friend a girl could ask for and you may be gone but you will never be forgotten. Ok, enough of the sappy crap, I'm off to see NKOTB in concert just for you and I'm sure you're glad you're not here for me to drag you with me. Even though I know you're a closet NKOTB fan ;-) Love always, Sugar Britches.