Post Wedding Blues

So it's been about 2 1/2 months since my last post and about 6 weeks since the Wedding, wow time sure does fly.  I know I said a few posts ago that anyone who was thinking about planning a traditional Wedding should just save their money and elope, I was wrong.  Anyone who decides to plan a traditional Wedding don't elope, instead save your money and hire a wedding planner.  I loved every second of my Wedding and as the day went on I was so glad I decided to have the big Wedding, it was so worth it.  Even my husband, yes that's still weird to say lol, said he was very happy we decided to do the traditional Wedding it was so much fun.

The Wedding truly was a blast but it would have been a lot more fun if it wasn't our responsibility to make sure everything happened and on time.  A few things were missed and forgotten about but for the most part I'd say we did a pretty damn good job running the circus ;-)

After the wedding the hubster and I went to Jamaica for our lovely 10 day honeymoon.  It was superb.  It was just nice to be able to go and get away for a while.  We did so much running and planning for the Wedding that on the honeymoon we just sat on the beach for 10 days and did nothing.  We read a few books, went sailing a few times but that was about it.  After we got home from the honeymoon the Post Wedding Blues set in, I got so depressed because I came home with a super ear infection and couldn't hear for a few weeks after.  It took forever for me to get my hearing back and the whole time I was suffering with that I was miserable, I had nothing to occupy the countless hours I spent planning the wedding, we did get a new puppy the day after we got home but even that wasn't helping me get over the Post Wedding Blues.

It took awhile for me to just get used to being "us" again without all the stress of the wedding, without all the crap to do, without all the interaction with my girlfriends and family, it was quite the adjustment.  Once I thought I was FINALLY getting used to it I got this ridiculous cold.  I was out of work for 2 days, would have been more if I had more PTO time left, but I spent those 2 days in bed and on the couch plus the following 2 days (Saturday and Sunday), were also spent wallowing in my sickness.  It sucks because just when I finally get the motivation to get the rest of the wedding gifts put away or start working on a project around the house I get some sort or ridiculous sickness.  I'm sure by the time the holidays are over I'll be back in tip top shape.

Speaking of Holidays, it's 1am on Black Friday morning and I have to go get dressed to head out shopping :-) Tis the season to be spending.

Here's a Picture of our new baby Rufus :-)

Wedding Day Countdown Continues!!

Wow, ok...so obviously updating my blog wasn't on my wedding to do list, lol.  The last post I did said the Wedding was 101 days away, well we are at 22 days from the Wedding and I have got to say my stress and anxiety levels are quite lower than they were 79 days ago.  I think a lot has to do with my acceptance that if its not perfect on my Wedding Day I'll still be marrying to most wonderful guy in the entire world so nothing else really matters.

There isn't a whole lot left to do at this point we are pretty much good to go!  Still waiting for a few RSVPs to come in but other than that we're pretty set :-)

There were some changes in the wedding party since my last post.  My problem bridesmaid was eliminated and another one dropped out, but my cousin stepped in so we're really only down one girl, which isn't so bad.

I had my Bridal Shower on 7/31 - we got so many wonderful gifts from our generous friends and family, I'm still trying to find room for them all!!!!  We also had my Bachlorette party and the Groom had his Bachelor party.  We did it the same weekend, Labor Day Weekend, to allow us some extra recovery time and I have to say that was a good idea since the Groom pulled his hamstring lol.

I have my final dress fitting tomorrow, (YIKES!!!) and then all that's left is the rehearsal and the wedding!!! Scary stuff!  Before I know it I'll be Mrs. Groom and it will be very weird getting used to that lol.  Hopefully I'll remember to post again before the big day, If not I'll see you all after Jamaica. :-)

Wedding Blues

I'd like to give my advice to any couple out there deciding to get married and do the whole "traditional wedding".  Elope. Seriously.  Save your money and elope.  I thought people were crazy for telling me that before but now I see there is some truth behind it.  Weddings are VERY time consuming, demanding, depressing, stressful and above all expensive. 

I don't mind the planning, the organizing, the researching or even the money involved.  I mind the drama.  There is so much drama involved in wedding planning.  The most drama comes from the place you expect it to come from, the wedding party.  This, although expected, still surprised me.  I expected some drama but the amount of drama that has spewed from this is so overwhelming it makes me want to just say fuck it and have no one except the best men and matron of honor.  I never thought I would be so disappointed in my life.  You choose people who are supposedly your closet friends and family to be in your wedding and the second you need help with something virtually no one is there. 

I will say though, I am thankful that I have at least 2 really truly awesome bridesmaids who would do anything for me and help me with anything day or night.  With out them this whole thing would be a disaster. 

101 days and counting and hopefully all this stress and anxiety will be worth it...and if it isn't, at least I have the honeymoon ;-)

Sister, Sister!

So this post is LONG over due, but I wanted to wait until the right time to make the announcement.  I mentioned a few posts ago that I had recently hired a PI to help me locate the Sister I have never met.  Well, I am happy to say they found her!!!!  I've been talking to my Sister since about April but I wanted to wait to post this since my whole family was not informed until recently.  On the off chance some one from my family reads this, I didn't want them to find out this kind of news from a blog, lol.

Needless to say I'm BEYOND excited about having a Sister and I was thrilled to find out I also have a Niece! Wow can't tell you how weird it is for someone to call me "Aunt" lol, never thought that would ever happen.  I got to spend Memorial Day weekend down south at my Sister's house and got to spend some quality time with her, my Brother in Law and my Niece.  I was also fortunate enough to meet the rest of her Family at a Graduation party.  Everything went super great and everyone was so nice to me.

I can't begin to express how great it was to meet my sister for the first time.  It was so wonderful, amazing, nerve wracking, scary and emotional all in one.  It was also a little weird, lol....her and I are SO much alike its almost scary.  We're built the same way, we have the same face structure, we have the same smile, the same laugh, the same little mole on the right side of our face, we finish each other's sentences and we laugh at the same corny stuff.  It's amazing how we can be 11 years apart and still be SO much alike.

Saturday night when I was down there my Sister and I went out to the Bar to get some good quality time in and when the bar closed and we were just cruisin' around listening to tunes in the car it just felt so normal and so comfortable.  It felt like that place I was looking for my whole life, the place I belonged was sitting next to my Sister as we cruised around listening to tunes.  It was totally amazing and I can not wait to go back and visit my Sister and Brother in law, who is one of the funniest men I have met, and play paper dolls with my Niece.

Love ya'll.

Going to the Chapel and We're Gonna Get Maaarrriiieeeddd...Eventually

Ok, so this wedding crap is seriously getting old, lol.  I thought for sure by now I would be done with the planning and sitting back, drinking Pina Coloadas making my scrapbook and just enjoying my dance lessons. Nope, fat chance...we're not even CLOSE to that part yet.  Sigh.

By the Groom's request, I have compiled a "To Do" list for the wedding/honeymoon.  I will post it here for your amusement and also my convenience :-) I will cross stuff off as complete and dear pray I can get it all done by the end of May so I can freaking relax!  So here's the list, in no particular order:

• Find and Book a florist that doesn't cost a million freaking dollars
• Find and Book a ceremony venue
• Send out save the dates to everyone
• order invitations
• send out invitations with RSVPs Numbered
• Find and Order toasting flutes
• Find and Order garters
• Get Groom's passport renewed
• Order Favors
• Make Leaves for Manzanita Trees
• Make master list for seating chart
• Seating chart itself
• Find and Order Headpiece
• Book Beautician and makeup artist
• Find and Order Cake Server Set
• Make appointment to review cake and layout
• Trellis for ceremony site?
• Girls Jewelry
• Wedding Rings
• Write Ceremony
• Write Vows
• Make garland for head table
• Rehearsal Dinner location
• Tuxes sized and ordered
• Groom's new glasses
• Dance Lessons
• Marriage license  
• Buy Disposable Cameras
• Music Selections
• Make Scrap book

Phew! That's it....I hope :-/

Somewhere Out There

I was born into a family where I was the one and only child. All my friends had at least one brother or sister where as I had none. It was always kind of boring going on family vacations because it was always just me and my parents. Although my Dad was like a super Dad and would go on any ride I no matter how crazy it looked just so I could go on the ride, it still wasn't the same as having someone else my age to do those things with instead of my Dad. I always felt like I had to act like a grown up because I was always surrounded by them, I never truly felt like a kid even when I was around other kids. I always felt like I had to be the responsible one to watch out for all of us so we wouldn't get in trouble.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice at times to be an only child. I got awesome presents for my birthday and Christmas, I didn't have to share video games or other toys, I had my own room with a TV and a computer. It did get lonely though, and I always dreamed of having a sibling to hang out with, so you could imagine my excitement when on my 11th birthday my parents told me my Dad was married before and I had a Half-Sister. I got really excited by this news!! I thought FINALLY! Someone to hang out with and talk to who’s not my parent!!! That excitement quickly dissipated when my Dad told me my Half-Sister was 11 years older than me and he had not seen her since she was 2. Great, I finally have a Sister but no one knows where she is, awesome. The one thing my Dad did have was one of her HS Graduation pictures which he carried around in his wallet and gave to me for safe keeping.

After that day I kind of forgot about the fact that I had a Half-Sister, since it was pretty obvious to me that no one knew where she was and no one seemed to care either. About 13 years later when I was packing up my room at home to move into the house I purchased with my Boyfriend, I found the picture of my Half-Sister my Dad gave me for "safe keeping". I started thinking about her a lot and thinking I should really try to find her. I thought about her off and on for a long while, always toying with the idea that I should start looking for her, but not knowing where to start, that idea quickly went away. I started talking to my Aunt T about it because I figured if anyone could help she could. My Aunt T is my Dad's Half-Sister from his Father's Second Marriage. (Phew that was a mouth full!) After years of knowing about my Dad and his Brother she finally decided to try to contact them, albeit a little easier for her since her Dad kept in contact with my Uncle. Still it was a very hard decision for her to make but she went through with it.

She told me about how nervous she was contacting and then meeting my Dad and Uncle and how worried she was they would not want anything to do with her. She told me about all the things she felt and as she went on I realized these fears she talked about were very similar to my own. As we talked more I told her of my fear of talking to my Dad about all this. I know my Dad and his ex had a nasty break up and I know my half Sister was adopted by her Mom's new husband less than a year after Dad's divorce was final, but that's about all I knew. I finally mustered up the courage to talk to my Dad about my Half-Sister in January of 2008 right after I had turned 26. I told him I thought about her a lot and wondered what she was like and really wanted to try to find her. Surprisingly he told me he felt the same way and he wanted to find her for years but never had the courage to do so. Wow! This was great news to me! I was so excited! We talked some more and then he told me he had some papers that might be useful in my search. He has his divorce papers from her Mom and the adoption papers he signed giving her Step-Dad legal guardianship of her. Woo Hoo! I felt like I was on top of the world! I was going to start looking for my sister! I had all this great info! This will be so easy!

Wrong.

Although I had a ton of great info, I had no clue what to do with it. I tried searching for her on-line with the info I had, buying subscriptions to sites and services that promised results, no luck. I hired PIs to search for her, do background checks everything, no one had any clue where she was, or even if she was alive. This went on for about 2 years until I finally was at a loss. I didn't know where to look, who to ask, nothing. I felt like I hit the ultimate brick wall.

Then I saw it.

I was watching TV really late one night and I saw this show called "The Locator". It was about this PI who traveled the country helping people find their long lost relatives. I thought AWESOME! I'll write to the show and they'll help me find her!! So I got the laptop out, wrote down my story, crossed my fingers and hit send.

About 3 weeks went by and I heard nothing, which I felt was normal; it is a TV show after all. To my surprise the beginning of week 4 I got a phone from the agency that runs the show. They said although I wasn't picked for the show, they could still do a search for me but I’d have to pay for it. Lovely. The last thing I wanted, another bill less than 6 months from the wedding. Amy, the rep from the agency, and I talked for a while about why I wanted to find her, what kind of info I had and what their flat fee covered. After I spoke with her, I talked with my Boyfriend, now Fiancé, that I lived with and we talked about it for a while and I decided I would regret it more if I didn't go through with it. So I called Amy back, told her we were going through with it, painfully gave her my credit card number and she started my file.

I think the worst part about all this is the 15 day waiting period after you activate your contract. After you sign your contract, they take up to 15 days to put your file together and assign you a PI. On our about day 15 you should receive a phone call from your assigned PI to review your case file and discuss your search. Once you talk to your PI he then begins his search. The search can take up to 6 months and they have a 98% success rate in finding the lost relative usually less but up to 6 months.

Today is day 13 of 15 and my stomach has been doing somersaults all day. It’s going to be a long 2 days and that's just the beginning!!! I guess I don't have to worry about losing weight before the wedding, my stomach will be too nervous to eat anything until this is all over. Hopefully once it’s all over I'll be able to meet my Sister.

The Time Has Come To Say Goodbye

On November 10, 2009 my 92 year old Grandmother passed away.  My Grandmother, or Baba as we called her, suffered from Alzheimer's Disease for the past five years or so, the last two being the worst.  Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, bad for the person who has it, and horrific for the people around them.  Every day we saw more and more of Baba slip away until one day it seemed as though she was just no longer there, that was about a year and a half ago.

Baba started getting really bad the summer of 2008, it was at that time my Mom decided she wanted Baba to go live with her and my Father.  She moved Baba into their house in August 2008 and my Mom took care of Baba everyday until she passed away peacefully in her own home on November 10, 2009 just five days after her 92nd birthday.

Even though near the end she didn't know who we were, we still knew who she was, and that woman we will never forget.

 

Anna Mancak

11/05/1917 - 11/10/2009