So I know I mentioned in a previous post that I was super excited for my birthday this year, God knows why turning 27 it's really not a big deal, but for some reason I was super excited. I had this weird feeling about my birthday this year that something was gonna happen, something big, something I'd never forget. Friends we're telling me that maybe it meant that the bf was finally gonna "pop" the question, I didn't think so. He's much to creative to do it on a holiday or my birthday, he'd want that special moment to have a day all of its own. My friends insisted I was wrong and if it wasn't that then what could it possibly be?
The morning of my birthday started off well, I found an adorable card stashed in my purse by the bf, he's so cute. I got to work to find out the huge project that I was going to have to start asap, and would take me weeks to complete, was cancelled, yay! My lovely co-workers got me an adorable card they all signed for my birthday, so things were on the up and up! Still I had that weird feeling in my stomach that something great was going to happen.
With those thoughts and feelings in mind, the work day continued to its end and I trudged home in the cold to prepare for my birthday dinner. The bf and I went out to a superb birthday dinner at my favorite restaurant, GIO in Macungie, Pa., if you live in the area and haven't gone there you NEED to, they have absolutely fabulous food there. Anyways, where was I? oh yes, this odd feeling....so dinner began, continued and ended and it was elegant, lovely and delicious as it always was and we went home and before I knew it the birthday was over. As I lay in bed that night, after having a supreme birthday, those thoughts were still in the back of my mind like something was going to happen, I dismissed them as nonsense and went to bed.
A few days later as my bf and I made the hour drive to my parents house those thoughts, that I thought had long gone, resurfaced themselves and started playing with my mind. I dismissed them, told myself I needed to focus on the road and the conversation I was having with my bf and forget about it.
The next day I was in the car with my dad and he was taking me to pick up my car that I had dropped at the garage the night before to have the remote starter looked at and I got to thinking. My dad was married before he married my mom and he has another daughter, a daughter that I have never met but was always curious about. A daughter whom I knew nothing about, a daughter I've wanted to talk about, to find for years and I never, for one reason or another, had the courage, no the guts, to ask my dad about her.
So here, alone in the car with my dad and I'm fighting with myself in my head to just ask him already and get it over with and then it happened, I just blurted it out..."so dad, have you heard from my sister at all while she was growing up?" He says no and inquires to why I asked. I told him I've been thinking about her a lot and have wanted to meet her for sometime now but didn't know how he and mom felt about it. We talk for the rest of the ride to the garage and he tells me he would like to see her and wouldn't mind if I looked for her. He tells me about her and the little things he remembered and take copious notes on my phone in the form of a text to my bf.
So we arrive at the garage I pick up my car and give my dad a hug and tell him I'll meet him at home. I get in my car, in some sort of a daze and drive to the gas station. As I'm standing there pumping my gas I get this feeling in my stomach, this feeling of utter and totally happiness, a feeling that was so intense I don't think it could be described with words. And that's when I realize it, that feeling I've had all this time, the feeling that something great was going to happen, that feeling that I have been misreading all this time was this. The best gift I could have ever gotten on my birthday, the gift of knowledge of my sister and the approval of my father to finally find her!!! I'm so excited that I can hardly contain myself. After pumping my gas I just sit in my car for a minute and reflect on the last 20 minutes of my life. 20 minutes that could potentially change my life.
I go back to may parents house and briefly fill the bf in on the happenings of the time I was gone. We have dinner and cake with my parents and Grammy for my birthday and off we go on our way home. All the way home all I can think and talk about is my sister and the little bit of knowledge my dad has provided me with. My bf is so incredibly happy for me, happy that I finally decided to talk to my dad about this and happy that he is ok with me finding my sister.
A few days go by and I've done a few Internet searches here and there to no avail and I realize the little bit of information my dad has given me is just that, a little bit of information. I then realized that I have been going about this all wrong and what I should have done from the beginning was talk to my mom about all this. If anyone would know good information about dad's past it would be my mom.
So one day while we are on the phone, and she seemed to be in a decent mood, I decided to "drop the bomb" on her so-to-speak, so I tell her about the conversation dad and I had on the way to pick up my car and I tell her how he felt and how I felt and wanted to see how she felt. Surprisingly she was seemingly fine with it all and even offered to help. Seems as though I was right about mom and her knowing about dad's past. She had everything I needed! She had a copy of my dad's divorce papers, a copy of the adoption papers he signed to relinquish his rights to my sister to her mother's new husband, she had everything!!! She agreed to let me look through the papers so I seized the opportunity at hand and agree to come up that Sunday to look through them and for dinner.
And that's where we stand now. I got home from my parents a few hours ago with some scanned copies of the documents my mother had and a whole new name to search for, apparently dad forgot she was adopted. So this is where I stand with all this information and the whole Internet at my fingertips as a search tool, and yet it still seems so surreal.
Changing one little thing in your life could effect the entire outcome and here I am sitting with all this information about this one person, this one person who to my knowledge doesn't even know I exist, and I'm about to barge into her life and change it forever. That's a big deal, and a big decision to make one that shouldn't be taken lightly. So, here is my plan...I plan to do some digging around out there in cyber world, see what I can find out about her and if, no sorry, when I find her then I will make the decision if barging into her life and changing it forever is the right thing to do. Knowing me and how pushy I can be I'll barge first and ask questions later, but at least I did put some thought into it, even if for just a moment.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Promised Pictures
So today will be a dual posting day, I know shocking isn't it. ;-) First I'm going to post some pictures that I have been promising to post for a very long time then I'll do an update post. :-)
Ok so first things first, here's a picture of of Christmas tree from this year, (well I guess its technically last year now isn't it lol.) This is one of the trees I had to jam in my car on Black Friday since I wasn't bright enough to take the boyfriends truck with me. And no this is not the one in the previously posted picture that was hanging out of my trunk, I ended up taking that one back, and I used the truck this time ;-).
Second up on the promised picture list is a picture of how my lovely bf wrapped my Christmas gifts. He's so incredibly crafty and clever :-) He actually went to Micheal's and spent some serious time there finding the right accessories for my gifts, (though true I'm not so sure he'd like me using his name, Michael's and accessories all in the same sentence, good thing ya'll don't know who he is ;-)). One lesson he did learn this year though is glitter is not always a good thing ;-) The glitter from the netting was ALL OVER the room he used as his "work area" and also all over my house lol. I didn't mind though.
Third and Fourth on our promised pictures list is two pictures I took of the laptop my bf made me when he realized the one he got me for Christmas wasn't going to be here in time. Like I said he's crafty, clever little bugger ;-). The real one actually came early, I got it two days before my birthday, yay! It's a Dell Inspiron 1525 and its blue and super awesome :-) if you want to know anything else about it, like RAM, hard drive space etc. you need to speak to the Geek in the family ;-).
And last but not least, I decided to throw in a Bonus picture since I've waited so damn long to post the other ones, this one is an added bonus. It's a picture of our two Cats Lex and Lana in the top of the cat tree they have. Usually they fight over who is going to sit in it but this time Lana stood her ground and wouldn't budge because Lex decided to bully her. The result was a very awkward picture of the two of them.
Ok, so that does it for the promised picture post, wow say that three times fast, on to the update...
Ok so first things first, here's a picture of of Christmas tree from this year, (well I guess its technically last year now isn't it lol.) This is one of the trees I had to jam in my car on Black Friday since I wasn't bright enough to take the boyfriends truck with me. And no this is not the one in the previously posted picture that was hanging out of my trunk, I ended up taking that one back, and I used the truck this time ;-).
Second up on the promised picture list is a picture of how my lovely bf wrapped my Christmas gifts. He's so incredibly crafty and clever :-) He actually went to Micheal's and spent some serious time there finding the right accessories for my gifts, (though true I'm not so sure he'd like me using his name, Michael's and accessories all in the same sentence, good thing ya'll don't know who he is ;-)). One lesson he did learn this year though is glitter is not always a good thing ;-) The glitter from the netting was ALL OVER the room he used as his "work area" and also all over my house lol. I didn't mind though.
Third and Fourth on our promised pictures list is two pictures I took of the laptop my bf made me when he realized the one he got me for Christmas wasn't going to be here in time. Like I said he's crafty, clever little bugger ;-). The real one actually came early, I got it two days before my birthday, yay! It's a Dell Inspiron 1525 and its blue and super awesome :-) if you want to know anything else about it, like RAM, hard drive space etc. you need to speak to the Geek in the family ;-).
And last but not least, I decided to throw in a Bonus picture since I've waited so damn long to post the other ones, this one is an added bonus. It's a picture of our two Cats Lex and Lana in the top of the cat tree they have. Usually they fight over who is going to sit in it but this time Lana stood her ground and wouldn't budge because Lex decided to bully her. The result was a very awkward picture of the two of them.
Ok, so that does it for the promised picture post, wow say that three times fast, on to the update...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Hello 2009
The rest of the Christmas follow-up visits went well, and New Years was awesome as usual, (check out the videos from New Years Eve Co-Optimus bites the dust is my fav :-) ) After New Years we had our parents and his parents over for a visit which was nice, always nice to have family come over, makes the house more homey. Now I'm just waiting until Wednesday so I can take down my Christmas tree and decorations, (we never take our tree down until after Russian Christmas January 6th), then I can put up my Valentines Day decorations and get ready for my birthday :-). I can't wait for my birthday this year I dont know why lol, no one wants to be a year older. I guess it just means I'm that much closer to getting married lol. We're not engaged, yet, but we did agree on a date 10/10/10 :-) I think its pretty nifty ;-), we'll see if that time comes around if we have enough money for a wedding lol. I guess that's really all for now nothing new really, same stuff different day, back to work tomorrow, yuck! :-P
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