Somewhere Out There

I was born into a family where I was the one and only child. All my friends had at least one brother or sister where as I had none. It was always kind of boring going on family vacations because it was always just me and my parents. Although my Dad was like a super Dad and would go on any ride I no matter how crazy it looked just so I could go on the ride, it still wasn't the same as having someone else my age to do those things with instead of my Dad. I always felt like I had to act like a grown up because I was always surrounded by them, I never truly felt like a kid even when I was around other kids. I always felt like I had to be the responsible one to watch out for all of us so we wouldn't get in trouble.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice at times to be an only child. I got awesome presents for my birthday and Christmas, I didn't have to share video games or other toys, I had my own room with a TV and a computer. It did get lonely though, and I always dreamed of having a sibling to hang out with, so you could imagine my excitement when on my 11th birthday my parents told me my Dad was married before and I had a Half-Sister. I got really excited by this news!! I thought FINALLY! Someone to hang out with and talk to who’s not my parent!!! That excitement quickly dissipated when my Dad told me my Half-Sister was 11 years older than me and he had not seen her since she was 2. Great, I finally have a Sister but no one knows where she is, awesome. The one thing my Dad did have was one of her HS Graduation pictures which he carried around in his wallet and gave to me for safe keeping.

After that day I kind of forgot about the fact that I had a Half-Sister, since it was pretty obvious to me that no one knew where she was and no one seemed to care either. About 13 years later when I was packing up my room at home to move into the house I purchased with my Boyfriend, I found the picture of my Half-Sister my Dad gave me for "safe keeping". I started thinking about her a lot and thinking I should really try to find her. I thought about her off and on for a long while, always toying with the idea that I should start looking for her, but not knowing where to start, that idea quickly went away. I started talking to my Aunt T about it because I figured if anyone could help she could. My Aunt T is my Dad's Half-Sister from his Father's Second Marriage. (Phew that was a mouth full!) After years of knowing about my Dad and his Brother she finally decided to try to contact them, albeit a little easier for her since her Dad kept in contact with my Uncle. Still it was a very hard decision for her to make but she went through with it.

She told me about how nervous she was contacting and then meeting my Dad and Uncle and how worried she was they would not want anything to do with her. She told me about all the things she felt and as she went on I realized these fears she talked about were very similar to my own. As we talked more I told her of my fear of talking to my Dad about all this. I know my Dad and his ex had a nasty break up and I know my half Sister was adopted by her Mom's new husband less than a year after Dad's divorce was final, but that's about all I knew. I finally mustered up the courage to talk to my Dad about my Half-Sister in January of 2008 right after I had turned 26. I told him I thought about her a lot and wondered what she was like and really wanted to try to find her. Surprisingly he told me he felt the same way and he wanted to find her for years but never had the courage to do so. Wow! This was great news to me! I was so excited! We talked some more and then he told me he had some papers that might be useful in my search. He has his divorce papers from her Mom and the adoption papers he signed giving her Step-Dad legal guardianship of her. Woo Hoo! I felt like I was on top of the world! I was going to start looking for my sister! I had all this great info! This will be so easy!

Wrong.

Although I had a ton of great info, I had no clue what to do with it. I tried searching for her on-line with the info I had, buying subscriptions to sites and services that promised results, no luck. I hired PIs to search for her, do background checks everything, no one had any clue where she was, or even if she was alive. This went on for about 2 years until I finally was at a loss. I didn't know where to look, who to ask, nothing. I felt like I hit the ultimate brick wall.

Then I saw it.

I was watching TV really late one night and I saw this show called "The Locator". It was about this PI who traveled the country helping people find their long lost relatives. I thought AWESOME! I'll write to the show and they'll help me find her!! So I got the laptop out, wrote down my story, crossed my fingers and hit send.

About 3 weeks went by and I heard nothing, which I felt was normal; it is a TV show after all. To my surprise the beginning of week 4 I got a phone from the agency that runs the show. They said although I wasn't picked for the show, they could still do a search for me but I’d have to pay for it. Lovely. The last thing I wanted, another bill less than 6 months from the wedding. Amy, the rep from the agency, and I talked for a while about why I wanted to find her, what kind of info I had and what their flat fee covered. After I spoke with her, I talked with my Boyfriend, now Fiancé, that I lived with and we talked about it for a while and I decided I would regret it more if I didn't go through with it. So I called Amy back, told her we were going through with it, painfully gave her my credit card number and she started my file.

I think the worst part about all this is the 15 day waiting period after you activate your contract. After you sign your contract, they take up to 15 days to put your file together and assign you a PI. On our about day 15 you should receive a phone call from your assigned PI to review your case file and discuss your search. Once you talk to your PI he then begins his search. The search can take up to 6 months and they have a 98% success rate in finding the lost relative usually less but up to 6 months.

Today is day 13 of 15 and my stomach has been doing somersaults all day. It’s going to be a long 2 days and that's just the beginning!!! I guess I don't have to worry about losing weight before the wedding, my stomach will be too nervous to eat anything until this is all over. Hopefully once it’s all over I'll be able to meet my Sister.